Thoughts on Prop 8 and other things

Last night, as I was on facebook, I noticed people were talking about the prop 8 decision in CA. I usually don't comment on this, because every person who has ever shared their opinion on this subject suddenly gets like a hundred comments, and people get to the point where nothing polite is said anymore, and the comments aren't even based on reason anymore. Similar to what we see with anti-immigrant comments.

Well, last night, one of my friends' status update was dominating my newsfeed. He is in favor of prop 8. I ignored it for a while, but I keep scrolling down and down, and I see that he changed his status like 5 times, with each one, I thought, getting more and more derogatory...the last status update really got to me, and I had to comment. His status went something like...(first name, last name) laughs at people who can't deal with statistics, and if they don't like it, they should just move.

It's the "They should just move" part that really got to me, because it isn't right for him to say that gays basically had no right to stay in their state of residents. We all know the feeling of displacement.

I was the first one to comment on that particular status update, then some of his friends jumped in, against me, and one gay person started commenting. He accumulated about 15 comments, and it would've lasted longer, if I didn't say that I was not going to comment anymore because there really is no point of arguing when we don't see eye to eye. It wastes my energy, and it probably rises my blood pressure.

One thing I hate, though, is how vicious people can get, and how much hate is in those words. I read what he was commenting, and of course, none of it makes sense to me. But it's even worst than hearing the religious argument against it. Because at least, when religious institutions oppose it, they don't say "We hate gays"; their reason, although I disagree with their reason, is "Marriage is sacred and the Bible claimed it to be only between a man and a woman". I can deal with these reasons as to why people support it, but when it is solely based on hate, I can't stand it! It was so horrible, that last night, I even dreamed of it, and I woke up at 6am, and couldn't go back to sleep. I dreamed that the debate war went on and on, and we both just wouldn't stop. Now I'm very sleepy, especially since I've been sleeping very late these past couple of nights.

Anyways, some things really did hurt me, in what he said. He basically said the vote was democratic, people voted, and got what they want, and that I might as well live under communism or a dictatorship, if I didn't like prop 8 so much, where a dictator decides what he wants for the people, even if the majority opposes it.

oww. I don't know why I am so personally affected by what he said. I mean, too personal, when I know it should not affect me as much as it did. I mean, I had a bad dream about it...that's pretty bad. Maybe because, just a little bit, it reminds me of comments of "illegals, go back to your country". Being displaced. over and over again.

I counter this argument, mentionig what happened during the civil rights movement. Didn't we oppose integration? Integration didn't come in one day. Did you know that after Brown vs. Board of Education was decided, that integration did not take place right after? Even when Thurgood Marshall died, only about 1/3 of African-Americans were attending integrated schools. And what about our opposition ot anti-lynching bills? And the Matthew Shepard Act? And most recently, the killing of Luis Ramirez? And the DREAM Act right now? I said, the law isn't always correct, even if the majority endorses it.

By this time, someone else joins in, and their counter argument: They got mad at me because I kept saying, what "we" did a long time ago. "We" weren't the "we" that I was talking about. Does that make sense? In other words, we didn't live in that time. We didn't live in the time of racism, or slavery, they claim, and so I need to shut up and stop talking like we were responsible for those mistakes...I got a hint that they were telling me that we now live in a post-racism era, where society is pretty perfect, and everyone now has their basic human rights, especially in the U.S....wrong. I got a feeling that they were calling me unAmerican, although they did not say so explicitly, for bringing up our history.

And I think, once you start thinking society has achieved its goals, there's something wrong with that. Once the DREAM Act passes, and immigration reform happens, I'm not going to say, Oh our country has solved all of its problems. That's the wrong way to think. Honestly, I don't think there could ever be true equality, there will always be a class who will be denied of their rights. But I do believe, that whenever this happens, we must fight those laws that let it happen, because we can change it. It will be a long process, but we will change it. And then we will succeed. And then, a new class of people will be denied of rights. I see it as part of a cycle.

Also, thinking that we now live in a country that has erased racism and a true unbiased society, that rewards those who do well, and punishes those who don't, is kidding ourselves. I think that is too haughty to say. I would never say, oh, I accomplished this, so I must be the best person ever. I've learned from this lesson, so I must be perfect now, and can't make any other mistakes, because I've already accomplished a lot. NOOO. I do not like people who are so conceited to think this way and think they are better than others. Because in life, once you've learned one lesson, there is always another lesson to be learned. It doesn't mean you are flawless. We will always have our flaws. We will always have unlearned lessons in front of us, but we don't say, oh, this is as far as I go. There is no accomplished You. It's not like school, where once you get an A, there's nothing higher than that, and you stop right there. But personal and character development is work we need to work on for a lifetime, because we can always do better and get better.

I think the same goes with how society progresses. Never stop, keep learning.

I didn't comment after that, because I was afraid more hurtful things would be said. What will he tell me next? He already called me an undemocratic, unpatriotic American, who might as well find a communist country and live there. And by this time, a gay guy joined into the conversation, and they weren't very nice to him either. He said, "I want to have the same rights as you, I want freedom!" They said, "Yes, you do." He says, "No, apparently, the law won't let me get married." Their response: " Yes you can, get out of CA and get married."

Sorry, that's not an answer. That's not equal rights.

Oh yeah, he also said the civil rights was noble because it was done peacefully, and now we have crazy protesters. Totally different, he says. This movement is not comparable to the civil rights movement. The truth: civil rights movement was not peaceful, they were hosed down and lynched by the opposition. And back then, the teenagers that participated in sit-ins, and everyone protested were labeled as crazy too...like...protesters today! I see history repeating itself.

I think another reason why this ticked me off so much is because I am a devout Catholic, and I hated how they brought up this issue in church. They told us, we don't care if you choose Obama or McCain, the Catholic Church cannot decide for you on political issues. But for issues prop 4, 6, 8, you better think this way or else you aren't a good Catholic. That is upsetting, because I don't think the church had a right to tell me how good or bad I am based on my view on this issue. Am I hated for thinking a certain way? I see this, even with one of my best friends. My best friend is a devout Christian too, but he hates Oprah. I asked why, and he said, it's because Oprah believes that there is more than one way to get to heaven, and that Christianity isn't the only way. I don't know what to say. because, well, I think the way Oprah does then, which means he must hate me too. Does he? He knows I am very open-minded when it comes to religion, but I am careful how I word this issue with him. I never really explicitly told him that I don't think Christianity is the only way.

It is these things that make me wonder, if people would judge me a certain way if I have my opinion that doesn't match theirs. Or do people consider me a bad person when I don't think a certain way? Or when I do? Can I just, for once, be judged on my actions rather than my beliefs? Be judged on my character rather than on things I can't control?