A Little Crush

Well, this may be a cheesy post.

I have a crush on someone, oddly enough. I've known him for about a few weeks, and I don't know, there's something about him that I like. He seems extremely kind, and a guy as far as I can tell from the few weeks I've known him, close to my ideal guy. I just have that feeling, even though I've known him for so little time.

It's weird. He rocks at physics, and I don't. We do our homework together, and I help him only like 20% of the time, and he ends up helping me 80% of the time w/ the homework. I feel bad, he's given me a few rides home before, because we often do homework 'til night time, and the last bus I need to take ends around 9:30pm. Not only that, but I have a 10 pm curfew which I just also found out a couple of weeks ago. I feel pretty lame, because even when we want to study longer, he has to drop me off. And I felt really bad asking him for a ride, especially since we haven't known each other for that long.

We have some common interests. We both like to read, he really cares about education, we are both a little too much of control freaks, and we think alike, in some ways. Though we are also completely different in personality. I tend to like guys who are almost the complete opposite of me, or at least more of a difference than similar characteristics.

I also found out that he is 4 years older than me, was in the military, didn't like it, and was able to come back home when he got hurt. arrrgghh, war, this is why we should not be in it!

It's weird, but I have a feeling that we both have pasts, that we are not telling each other. Like, I have not told him about my status, and I don't think I ever will tell him, even if I do start liking him even more. We tell each other bits and pieces of our lives, and I get the feeling that we are both not telling each other the whole truths of our lives. And we are both cautious to ask the why questions....like there is an understanding between us that it will lead to truths we are not ready to tell each other.

Who knows, my analysis could be completely wrong, and maybe I have it all wrong. But something about him is making me have a crush on him.

He also gave me a book :) We were talking about books, and he gave me one from one of his favorite authors James Joyce. He is in tune with nature, and likes to bike, and do a lot of things I like to do.

Though we are no where close to the possibility of dating each other as of now, I do have to ask this question. How do I deal w/ my status problem w/ him? It's a secret I hate keeping, and I like the relief I get when I hang out w/ people that know. It feels so safe and secure w/ my close friends. I don't have to worry about silly questions. It's just that if I dated someone again, I want that person to know this secret, you know? Instead of making excuses. But no, I must keep it a secret, it's too unsafe to come out, too many things could go wrong if we end up breaking up or something. I know this is thinking too much into the future, but it's not just with him I'm thinking, but what about any guy I date? I feel like I don't want to date anyone who is unaware of the immigration issues because I would never come out to a person who I date, unless we've developed a really long relationship. There is a feeling of unrest when I hang out with people that don't know. That is not a feeling I would want to carry into a relationship.

We did very briefly talk about the DREAM Act. He supports :) But still, I can't tell him. But I'm happy with this fact, although, I didn't have time to go into detail about this bill with him.

Looking forward to getting to know him more. cheesy post, huh?